


Loving Yourself

by Forbiddenmichael



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Ashton Irwin - Freeform, Calum Hood - Freeform, F/M, Luke Hemmings - Freeform, Michael Clifford - Freeform, So yeah, ash is sad, he needs you, hes still upset, nothing really happens, really sad really, so you comfort him, the fans are being mean to him, the other boys arnt in it, your the girl again
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-28
Updated: 2015-08-28
Packaged: 2018-04-17 16:22:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4673396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Forbiddenmichael/pseuds/Forbiddenmichael
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There had been no pinicle point that started the messages and nothing that Ashton could think of that he may have done intentionally that had caused the written abuse. However that didn’t stop them from tearing down the mental walls that he had naturally built up when he and his 3 best friends as rose to fame, leaving him bare to the messages, so meticulously made to strike him where it hurt. Having no armour left, he crumpled, standing in the shared bathroom of yours and his flat, crumbing in on himself with the words swirling in his head and forcing every other happy thought out.</p><p>or when the hate gets to much and ashton just needs someone-you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Loving Yourself

**Author's Note:**

> im sorry if this is too upsetting. be careful tho as this is pretty sad and kinda has a trigger warning

Another new refresh of the site bought a whole new 100 messages of hatred and insults only written to harm and cause pain to the reader. And that reader was Ashton. There had been no pinicle point that started the messages and nothing that Ashton could think of that he may have done intentionally that had caused the written abuse. However that didn’t stop them from tearing down the mental walls that he had naturally built up when he and his 3 best friends had rose to fame, leaving him bare to the messages, so meticulously made to strike him where it hurt. Having no armour left, he crumpled, standing in the shared bathroom of yours and his flat, crumbing in on himself with the words swirling in his head and forcing every other happy thought out. Small whimpers and barely audible cries left his mouth, all feeling everywhere else lost as his head pounded as if the verbal abuse was actually a physical blow to the head.

“Y/N” he whispered, choking on the tears that he hadn’t realised where tumbling down his face. Their wet salty tracks down his face stinging his cheeks as they dried but were immediately replaced with new marks as more continued to fall. You, swaying and humming to yourself were none the wiser to Ashton’s breakdown, continuing to make the dinner that you had planned for the two of you. “Y/N” he whimpered again. His voice shook and was only slightly louder so the sound of the radio playing drowned out his voice. Finishing what you were doing you went in search of him, not because you heard him, but just because you missed his large hands on your waist and his chin on you shoulder looking down at what you were doing as you cooked.

Not knowing what you were about to stumble into, you walked into your shared bedroom and then to the bathroom. “Ashton where are y-“ but you were cut off by the scene before you. Your bleary eyed boyfriend, sat or more accurately sprawled across the tiled floor of the bathroom, his hair messy but still kept under control by a tightly tired bandana you had tied for him earlier that day, his black jeans had specs of dirt and fluff on them which had stuck to them when they came into contact with the floor. You tried to speak, but your own words choked you and you felt the sting of tears in your own eyes. He looked up at you and his hazel eyes showed fear and such vulnerability that you just wanted to hold him and stop him from ever leaving the house again to prevent him from ever leaving the house again so as not to let anyone else hurt him like this again. “Oh Ash” you whispered before collapsing onto the floor next to him and pulling him upright. You used his arm to pull him into something that vaguely resembled a sitting position as he slouched onto you. He leaned his head on your shoulder as he sat next to you. Sniffling and unclenching and clenching his hand around his phone.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” you whispered, pulling him away from your shoulder by the back of his t-shirt. His face was inches from yours, and your hands reached up to cup his face, rubbing soothing circles into the red skin of his cheeks, swiping at the tears that still managed to continue falling from his dazed eyes and brushing stray strands of hair from in front of his face. “I’m not good enough” he whispered, his eyes hardening as he came to and focused on your face. “I can’t love myself,” he said, this time with a bite to his voice. “and if I can’t love myself, then no one can love me” he finished. His tone harsh and as if he was scolding a child not talking about himself. He still hadn’t focused entirely on your face until it crumpled and tears fell from your eyes, wetting your bottom eyelashes and then the top ones as you blinked them away. “I love you Ashton” you whispered, your mouth hanging slightly open once you finished, breathing through it as your nose had become blocked as your sinuses clogged when your tear ducked opened. Ashton blinked at you. Vision clearing. 

“But-but you can’t, I-I-I…” he stuttered, his lower lip quivering and eyes brightening with new tears. You squeezed his face slightly and tilted it upwards so his cast down eyes to flitted upwards. “I do Ashton. I really do, I love the way that you light up on stage when you are just yourself and the drums,” you swiped at his wet eyelashes, darker than their usal gold, “and I love the way that your hair curls-“ you moved a hand to the wispy hairs by the side of his face, “-just here when you sweat, and I love the way that you always snore slightly in your sleep and how you always have one and a half sugars with your coffee, always half even though it is so difficult to measure. And I love the way your hair still parts just so when you run your hands through the middle of it. And god Ashton I just love you.” You cradled his face in his hands, feeling him smile against your palms. “I will teach you how you how to love yourself Ashton. To show you how much I love you.” You soothed. “Okay,” he croaked out whilst leaning into your touch, “I love you too but okay”.


End file.
